Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Fall River Advertiser.  Hot Springs, SD, Wednesday, September 12, 2012 edition. Staff Writer: Jason Wellborn

Lord Hurts is coming! For those of you who are not familiar with this name, just do a google search and you will be much surprised at how prolific this individual has been in the past several years. I had the opportunity to meet with him at a lunch at our own "Blue Vervain Restaurant" over on river street this afternoon. At first meeting him, I must say that I was quite surprised at his lack of a pronounced British accent, but the man is quite compelling in voice and appearance. I had heard rumors about someone building a copy of an historic building to be used as a residence, but could not get any information from our building  officials. But "groping" around in the back recesses of the building department, I found that the person I was looking for was a Lord Howard Hurts, and I did the google search and emailed him. He wrote me that he would do an interview on September 7,  and suggested the"Blue Verfvain Restaurant". Here is my exclusive interview with Lord Howard Hurts:

Lord Hurts: Hello Jason, nice to meet with you this afternoon. I hope I can relieve some of the mysterious gossip that you have told me about.

Jason: It is so nice to meet with you, "Sir" or should I say, "Lord"?

Lord Hurts: It is Howard. I am an American citizen so the former title is just "window dressing and poppy cock".

Jason: Well I have done some homework on you, and just wonder why a billionaire like yourself would want to reside in our little town?

Lord Hurts: Well I did quite a lot of research before choosing your quaint little town........and it surely is unlike my home in England......or my Florida residence, to be sure, but I see a big future here both in tourism and mining. It seems a great place to live, and the people don't get into one's business. They respect privacy. I like that very much.

Jason: I don't have a lot of space in this paper, so if you would tell my readers what you have in mind, or just give me an idea what it is you are working on.

Lord Hurts: Well I am building a larger than life, up scaled, replica of the Alamo. History has always been my favorite subject and this is one reason that I am now an American citizen. But the Alamo has always encompassed all my thoughts about freedom, strength, struggle, and fighting to the death for a cause one believes in. So I have decided to have as my home the Alamo........even if it would be in South Dakota. And that is one reason I scaled it be bigger than the real one in Texas. Sort of a ready made trivia question, don't you think?

Jason: I am amazed. This is really something that will put Fall River county on the map. Is there any other purpose for you building this type of tourist attraction?

Lord Hurts: Jason. It is not a tourist attraction. It is going to be my primary residence. I hope to have it finished before January of 2013. You see, I had a dream, about 2 years ago, that October 28, 2012 was going to be the day that changed the world. And to stand behind, and to believe this dream, I started building my Alamo. I figured that if the real Alamo had 250 defenders, that after October 28, 2012, there would be at least 500 true believers who would need a place to gather and plan for the difficult days ahead.......that they could come to my house. My Alamo.

Jason: Are you serious? Or is this just some plan for publicity for a tourist attraction? I will be frank with you........I could not get any answers from either the city of Hot Springs or the building offices of Fall River county. They would not confirm or refute the claim that someone was building a massive home out in the country.

Lord Hurts: Jason, my boy. I am as serious as the proverbial "heart attack". I believe that October 28, 2012 will be the biggest happening since the birth of Jesus. Read my posting and see what you think. But regardless if I am correct or I am wrong, America is in decline and is dying. Mediocrity is the coin of the realm today. The "Harvard Types" continue to bestow self serving degrees on themselves and the citizens have lost the bravery to "throw the bums out". Myself.......I take it as an honor to be pillaged by the Obama Administration and the "Harvard Types". I take it as a badge of honor to be viewed as a "mental case" by this Marxist President and his "college" band of non believers. Yes, Jason, what I have told you is true. My Alamo will be my last stand against the tyranny that is "rotting" this Republic to the very core. Do visit as my guest in January.

This concludes my interview with Lord Howard Hurts. With this we had a great lunch and the wait staff had fun taking photos with Howard. I must say that in my 12 years working on the Fall River Advertiser, this was my most interesting assignment.

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