Saturday, September 17, 2011

Evolution Not Creation!

My dear Christian, Patriot, Friends.If you have been reading my past posting, you will know that I logically believe that all living things are the exclusive result of having been given life by a "Creator". I have given proof that life is just too complex to be an accident, and that 'evolution' is only a slight part of all living things, instead of being the major part of existence that the "Harvard Types" espouse, and hold as proof that believers in a "Creator" are mentally inferior. I.......Wait a  minute!.........CNN has a Breaking Announcement, and has taken complete control over my TV: 

NASA has announced that finally there is proof that all existence on Earth developed from evolution millions and millions of years ago. The Mars Ranger has sent back startling photos of a new find that has "set the "Intellectual World on fire". These new photos are proof that Mars, like Earth, is slowly evolving. These photos have been studied over the past week, to let the greatest minds at NASA, at Harvard, and the DNC, study and prepare for comment. There will be an exclusive, later tonight, with both NASA and Harvard, to provide detailed information on this Mars "find" that will conclusively prove that all Faith based beliefs are nothing more than silly stories, made up by people afraid of reality. CNN news reporter,  B.S. Biden, on the scene at NASA, reports that this Mars find is so unbelievable that he can hardly believe that it is not some Fake News. He says....... and this has not been confirmed by the White House as yet.....but there will be a Special White House Report issued at 9 PM eastern time, which will  divulge all the details of what the Mars Rover found. it has been leaked that "A nearly completed manuscript of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain, was half buried in the dust, near a massive brown boulder, at the desert area the Rover has been working for the past year. Surrounding this manuscript are several blank pages of paper, and a Jello box". NASA would make no statements nor confirm the find. But Professor Ima Hoarlick, of the Harvard school of Antiquities and Sexual Orientation Studies, has given us this exclusive statement: "This is the greatest find possible. Finally, the debate of Evolution Vs Creation is over. There is nothing else to discuss. Finished." Professor Horalick estimates that within 2,421 years the manuscript will be completed, including the signature of Mark Twain. Wait!  More "Breaking News!"...... Vatican City! The Pope has just resigned. He had been informed of this Evolutionary find by NASA officials less than an hour ago, and he immediately resigned his position,  and  procured a real estate license, and with the help of several Altar Boys, he is going to assume a new position, and turn the Vatican into a "Time Share Condo" development.  Keep tuned to CNN for "Breaking News", and now, back to our regularly scheduled programing: "The Kardashian's meet 'Bush 41' For Fun and Games". 

Boy! I didn't see this one coming. But I don't think paper is a living thing. But then again, paper is made from trees, and trees are living things. So maybe this is like the old, "which came first: the chicken or the egg?" I guess paper came before the tree. And CNN is reliable, and honest. It was started by Ted Turner. Nothing wrong with Ted Turner, so I guess the debate is over. Evolution must be the way all life started. It just took a little longer than 6 days to create Earth and all living things. Wait a minute! There will be a lot of "religion" workers looking for jobs next week. Unemployment will 'rocket' upwards. Isn't it funny how one problem solved, evolves into another more complex problem? 
Lord Howard Hurts

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