Massachusetts Man in Nome

Ronald: Your photos of bears reminds me of a story I was told when I went to Alaska for the first time back in 1967. I  had settled in Nome and was at a little cafe called "Mr. Lucky's Gold Dust Cafe". It was a blustery Saturday afternoon in November. I had just come up from Alabama.........Dothan to be exact.........and it was already colder than any winter I wanted to see. But as I sat in the dry warmth of that little cafe the friendliness of the town of Nome, showed itself in the good nature of the three old prospectors who shared that breakfast counter with me that day. Well we began to talk about the weather, and then the conversation turned to more personal aspects of our unrelated lives. And when I mentioned that I was up there from Alabama everyone in the cafe........not just my new three friends..... began to laugh and joke about Alabama. Well then the talk turned to the tenderfoot that had come into the cafe a few weeks ago from Massachusetts. Well my new friend said that he was not even sure that this tenderfoot would last past breakfast by the way he was complaining about the cold and the snow. So one of my new friends took up with him, and told him that everyone new to Alaska must do three thing before they became a real Alaskan. Well it seems that "Massachusetts" was serious about staying and prospecting for gold come summer so he said that he was surely interested in knowing what he needed to do to become a real Alaskan. Well this one guy, Bill, one of the protagonist, was sort of a joker, and he told Mr. Massachusetts that he would first need to go to some bar on the strip and drink a full bottle of Irish whiskey. That after he had done this he would have to kill an Alaskan bear. And then finally  he would then have to have hot passionate sex with an Alaskan woman. And as quickly as these words flowed from Bill's mouth this Massachusetts guy jumped up from his bar stool ,and said that he was going to do all of these mentioned things right then and there.  And he further stated that he would return after accomplishing his mission. Well after maybe two hours had passed....suddenly the door of the cafe was swung open, and it crashed against the adjacent wall with a loud thud. And there stood the man from Massachusetts. And he was drunk as the proverbial skunk. And he was bruised and scratched from head to foot. His clothes were ripped and torn beyond repair. His hair was even missing from several spots on his bloodied head.  Well he looked at everyone in the room and said, "I am out of here.....I am on my third and final mission. And if you gents would be so kind as to direct me to that Alaskan woman I have to kill, I would be most obliged". 
Lord Howard Hurts