I have to laugh at many of the Christian Patriots that profess their love of God and Country.  And then bow down to a President who is clearly so flawed that Stevie Wonder can see.  Now correct me if I am wrong...isn't there something strange...really strange...about a man who is bald....growing a massive 'comb over', and having having this 'fluff' coiffered to the max, and dyed bright orange? Is there some parallel to this drama with Donald J. Trump that can be found in the Bible?  Is there some Bible code for what is happening today? How about the story of the 3 Hewrew men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? King Nebuchadnezzar set up a golden image in the plain of Dura, and commanded that all his officials bow down before it. All who failed to do so would be thrown into a blazing furnace. Now could this be a reference to Donald J. Trump and his magnificent 'Golden Hair'?  And did this Bible story not happen in Persia...which is Iran today?  And could this 'firey furnace' be a reference to a nuclear blast? And when those three men did not bow down to the 'golden idol'....and were thrown into the furnace....heated 7 times the normal temperature...they were seen walking around unharmed...with another person...maybe the son of God. And this is all written in the book of Daniel, and could 'Stormy Daniels', 'Trump's Hump' be a hidden clue to what is coming should we continue to 'bow down' to Donald J. Trump?    making the point that the God of the Jews will deliver those who are faithful to him.    Lord Howard Hurts  Just Remember: I am only the messenger.

WARNING

WARNING FOR PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP.  I get a lot of information sent to me and most is nonsense.  But I have reason to believe that this following information is correct, and most dangerous for President Trump, and the continued existence of our great Republic.  

Former CIA Director John Brennan blasted President Donald Trump on Saturday after he tweeted about the firing of former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, calling the President "a disgraced demagogue."  From this outburst it is evident that the CIA is in all probability a rogue organization.

And what if there was something behind this outburst that could be dangerous for President Trump? What if the Old Guard at the CIA has a plan to 'take out' President Trump?  What if there is a plan to see that President Trump gets between 75 and 150 micro grams of "Orange Sunshine" (LSD)? What if this is the  way his credibility as a sane person will be on view the world over? Will his pick of Gina Haspel, as the new director of the CIA, even if confirmed, be a help to stop some plan to 'take him out'?   What if Gina Haspel is OK with the plan? Can director Haspel bring the 'New CIA' under the control of the President and the Congress? Will "Orange Sunshine"  be the cause of the destruction of this great Republic?  Only time will tell. Who was Seth Rich?  Just things to ponder.  

“But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. ........“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” .......Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Lord Howard Hurts

Nigel Smith, London Sporting Times, Interview With Lord Howard Hurts
This is a copy of an interview by Nigel Smith, published in the August 4, 2011 issue, of The London Sporting Times. 


Nigel: In this article, I ask candid questions, and attempt to find out just what makes Lord Howard Hurts "Run". For readers not familiar with this most interesting individual, a man who is not only current with the political dealings of today, but possesses and projects a "window" into the future. I only ask you to read his blog: freedomfiles.blgospot.com, so as to familiarize yourself with this English philosopher and businessman....now American citizen. I first became acquainted with him in the early 1990's, when he made the press with his astoundingly correct theory on the mathematical probability of success; His renowned statement: The 50-50-90 Rule. This rule states that anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Time and time again, this theory has proved true for me. So let me get on with the interview.


Nigel: Lord Hurts. Please inform the readers of your background and education.


Lord Hurts: I was born in 1945, at the family estate in Kent, England, and had the usual English upbringing, according to my family status. This was something that was still intact even after the war years. Much of the country was in tattered ruins, and because the country had to be rebuilt from the "ground" up, it afforded everyone the possibility to throw off the old mantel of "Royalty", and move up in a "social system" based on "drive" instead of heredity. I attended Ramsgate Holy Trinity Primary School, Broadstairs, Kent, where I learn my first lesson dealing with the reality of life......I think I was about 10 years old at the time. I believe this was my first "hint" that the fantasy world I was born into was just that. A fantasy.


Nigel: So, at 10 you began to see the world with a worlds view?


Lord Hurts: Decidedly so. I was a rather large lad, for my age, and I used my size to intimidate and take advantage of other students. Boys that is. At school I gathered together a few other boys who liked to follow, and engage in mischief, and we.....for lack of a better word.... terrorized the classes above, and a grade of so below, us. We ruled the school yard. It was then that I became aware that the teachings of our Anglican church....."Might Doesn't Make Right", was pure bunk. That it was either something made up by Morons or by those who wanted to rule our minds through apparent lies. This is when I first became aware that an education based on trial and error was the only real way to understand the realities of life. That this method might be slow and not always get one straight on to where one desired to be, but it was the way of the real world. 


Nigel: Then you were interested, even at that early age about the difference between reality and fantasy?


Lord Hurts: Very much so. The church was a big part of our life during those years, and I just could not understand....for instance....how Noah could have built such a large boat as he was well over 100 years old at the time, and then gathered all the animals on earth onto that boat, and then drifted for all that time before coming to rest on the top of a mountain. I wondered how it would be possible to feed all those animals, and what about the fact that some animals only ate other animals? Then there was another part of my religious upbringing that played large on my mind. Every Sunday the priest would come before the congregation, and hold up his arms and exclaim: "It Is Better To Give Than To Receive"........... I noticed that the collection plates were always empty. I thought....if it is better to give than to receive, why sometime.....are the plates not filled with money? 


Nigel: So then, at an early age you were "turned" against religion?


Lord Hurts: Yes. I used reason, and figured that the only thing the Anglican church had to offer me was contradictory statements. Another big statement the priest always made was, "Might Doesn't Make Right", but at the same time the church was using its might to control the thinking of its members. I can, even to this day, some 50 plus years later, hear the placid, deep voice, of our priest. He was so calm, and his voice so modulated, that it was hard to disbelieve anything he told us. And remember, he reinforced this by continually telling us that he was God's servant. I remember when I first thought that this man of God was a fraud. He had called on me to help serve at a wedding. The people being married were a young couple whom I had little knowledge of. They were of a middle class family, and he needed someone to help him with the service. He mentioned to me that it would pay well...... and the vision of pound notes filled my head, and I accepted the job. There was a practice session, and then the wedding a day or so later. I arrived and did my job, and waited in the back of the church with the priest to receive my pay. Well the groom presented the priest with an envelope, and I could see that it had a goodly amount of money inside. Both the groom and the bride thanked me for my service, and they left the church. The priest opened the envelope, and looked at the money inside, and turned to me and said, "I am so sorry that they were so rude. They forgot to include something for your service". And using his well modulated voice, he said, "Don't worry. I will think of you at my next wedding service, and I will see that you are re numerated"....this priest always liked to use "big" words to intimidate young persons. He always said that he was helping us, the acolytes, to build a stellar vocabulary, but what 10 year old would even begin to use "re numerated" in his everyday speak? No, this priest was a con man. He knew how to keep his "sheep" under control.


Nigel: Did you ever help with another wedding?


Lord Hurts: Hell no. I had no faith in the church from that point onward. I had seen that the envelop contained a goodly amount of pound notes, but this fraud did not see fit to share whatever meager wages it contained. Within a few months, after this incident, I had withdrawn from the church entirely. I had other things to do on Sunday mornings.


Nigel: So this was the beginning of your enlightenment?


Lord Hurts: For sure. Even though I was the son of a Baron, and the eldest son, I had doubts about my future...maybe I had better learn all that there was to be known about making a living in the England of the 1950's. So, I began to read everything I could get my hands on....very little fiction...... mostly, non fiction. I became reality based. I also, because of my reading, became an American history buff. I began to think that America was the place to live. Freedom became my "engine" of survival.


Nigel: When did you come to America, and are you an American citizen?


Lord Hurts: I attended Loretto School in Scotland, graduating in 1962, and then went to the University of Bristol, graduating with a degree in economics in 1965, and finally I decided to move to America and become a citizen..... sometime in 1967, I think it was. At that time I knew that I was "diagonally parking, in a parallel world", so a change of some kind was needed for sure. I remember thinking, at that time, that unless I got out of England, I would always be attending a gun fight carrying a sword....... so to speak. England was starting down that slippery slope to socialism, and I wanted to be guided by an open mind, rather than being coddled by so called intellects, that by University training, somehow knew the answer to every question, regardless of how little actual experience they possessed. It was the time of the mass explosion of the "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" crowd. The "Sun Was Setting" on the British Empire, and nobody seemed concerned. It was the age of Hope and Change, and the end of Victorian thoughts and actions. Everybody was equal regardless of ambition or talents. The world was love and sharing. I became a citizen of America in 1976. 


Nigel: Was the move to America traumatic?


Lord Hurts: No. Actually, it was a very easy transition. The language was, for the most part, similar. But the food and local quips were difficult to grasp at times. But after more than 20 years of living in Florida, I would think that I am more American than British, and few Brit's even give notice, except to comment on how "up" I am with British history. No. It has not been a big problem moving from my "Royal" upbringing to average American citizen. 


Nigel: I read in your posting about American being a "Nation of Blind Sheep", and America a country that has lost its "Moral Compass". And I just wonder what basis you have for stating these very provocative positions?


Lord Hurts: Well Nigel. When I came to America, I had studied extensively, American history, and was aware, even in that time period that America was in decline. That the "Golden Age" was over. That the "Barbarians" were at the gates, and that the education system of America was going to be the "make or break" factor......the factor that would either speed up, or postpone the decline. It was apparent to me that Americans were buying into the false idea that to make a smart electorate, or citizenry, you needed a college educated public. I am referring to a majority of the public. Of course there is a need for......say 10%...... of the citizenry to be university educated, but the majority of employment can be handled by vocation trained persons. So rather than having over educated workers doing tasks such a carpentry, masonry, or electrical.....not mentioning clerking, and others......... there is not need to invest in higher education for the remainder 90% of the work force. Everything at that time, and this was in 1976, was geared to get the mass of high school graduates into college or university, regardless of how many remedial courses that they had to take to get them "up to speed".


Nigel: Wait a minute. Explain yourself on this point further.


Lord Hurts: Well, the education system was being run by unions, and corrupt politicians. The unions were interested in perpetuating themselves while pretending to be interested in higher education for the youths. The way for the unions to perpetuate themselves was to get control over the teachers, and this was done by ramping up wages, pensions, and lowering actual teacher responsibility. The unions corrupted the teachers so that the responsibility of the teachers was not to teach in a quality manner, but to find ways to stop the parents from having anything to do with the quality of the education, and to make it difficult for the parents to have any control over the quality of the teachers. In other words......once a teacher was in the union, there would be little pressure exerted to see that the teacher was teaching. The focus was on keeping the job, receiving more pay for less work, better working conditions, better pensions, and keeping the parents from controlling the direction the educational system was taking. As you can see today........this unionization is the reason most entering college students have to take so many remedial courses. Courses that should have been learned in high school. And this is the reason they have to pay such a high price for the completion of their "Free", Congress certified, basic education. This includes subjects such as math, English, and basic science. There is no disputing that America pays the highest cost per student in the world, but yet still turns out graduates that can't even write a letter to grandmother. I am exaggerating some what, but this is a real issue. These students don't read the classics, and therefore have no idea about how to communicate except in the most rudimentary way. And most high school graduates can't even balance a checkbook. And as the price of this bad education goes up, those in political control continue to shout: "Unless more money is taken from the taxpayers, the nation will be in ruins". Well the nation is already in ruins, and it is the fault of the unions, and the teachers, that are more interested in their own future than that of their students.


Nigel: Lord Hurts. Are you saying that the American education system has been, and continues to be run by persons who don't have an interest in the outcome of the graduating students? That there has been some type of conspiracy going on to "Dumb Down" the students?


Lord Hurts: Yes. That is exactly what I am saying. There has been, and continues to be, a conspiracy in the education departments all over America to "Dumb Down" the students in order to increase the financial well being of the teachers, and teaching administrators. Anytime you have a system that rewards bad behavior, and has no mechanism in place to fire bad workers, you have corruption, and a conspiracy. Even if the conspiracy is not one that the participants go to meetings and make specific plans. It is a conspiracy of "Mind Set". It is the attraction of persons with a similar "thought pattern," where responsibility for policing the participants is left to themselves. Much like the saying that the only one capable of rating the teachers is the universities. The same institutions that gave out the degrees in the first place. The education departments of America work, using the same theory used by Adolf Hitler, “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed”. 


Nigel: You don't really believe this, do you?


Lord Hurts: Of course I believe this, because it is true. There is no doubt that graduating Americans are not as smart as their counterparts 50 years ago. Responsibility has been replaced by handouts. The focus on education today is grounded in the idea that one can be whatever they want to be, regardless of the reality. A blind person can be an airline pilot in the educational world today. And if there is someone bold enough to point out that this is not a reasonable option, there is some lawyer ready to file a law suit for discrimination. What is Up is now Down. The Mad Hatter doesn't seem the least bit "mad". America becomes Wonderland. There can be no positive results from all this social cleansing and intelligence balancing. The reality of the world is math.


Nigel: I have read where you believe that math is proof of a "Creator," and that math is the solution to everything. Please elaborate on this theme.


Lord Hurts: Ok. Let me explain. There is a mathematical formula for everything on earth today. Anything can be created, or replicated, once given the correct mathematical formula. 2 plus 2 always equals 4. It doesn't matter how hot or cold the weather is, or if one is upside down or on a mountain top, 2 plus 2 never equals 5, it only equals 4. Math is a concept that you can not touch or see. It is a mental process that is exclusive to humans. Every civilization on earth, past and present, has an understanding of math. Nobody invented math. It was always in the brain of humans. It did not just appear out of "thin" air. Evolution has zero impact on math. It exists because it is the basic building block of all human existence. But, because it is a universal concept of all humans on earth, it is a concept that had to have been "programmed" into the conscious brain. It could not have appeared one day, and somehow transferred to all persons on earth. Because this basic building block had to be programmed into the conscious brain of all humans on earth, this constitutes proof that there had to be a "Creator". So this is where my thoughts of past religion.....my Church of England teachings....finally meet what I believe today.


Nigel: You are back to the church?


Lord Hurts: No. But my reality of the "Creator", and the teachings of the Bible are more in line, today. Not to say that I believe everything that is written in the Bible is true, but I am sure that everything written in the Bible is the word of the "Creator". 


Nigel: You say, that you don't believe that everything in the Bible is true, but that you are sure that everything written in the Bible is the word of the "Creator". You have me confused on the difference here.


Lord Howard: There is a clear distinction if you take the two ideas and look at them. I don't believe all the stories in the Bible to be true accounts of events that happened, but I do believe that all the stories are words that convey some "picture" that the "Creator" has need for us to know or understand. Remember when I mentioned that I was curious about how Noah could have built the arc and kept all those animals aboard; For all those days; And to finally land on the top of a mountain. Well, most people believe that Noah landed on Mt. Arrat. Well there is no such mountain. There are the Arrat mountains. A chain of very high mountains....mountains over 20,000 feet in height. Mountains that have major lightning storms. Mountains, where to keep alive, one would need oxygen, and warm clothing.....and how would warm climate animals survive in such a place? And how would they get from the mountain top to the valley? Was there some road that lead down? Of course not. But when one thinks about this situation, and thinks about the fact that all human experience is mathematical....that the Bible is the word of the "Creator", then suddenly one comes to the answer of how it is possible that a boat, stranded on the top of one of the highest mountain chains on earth, filled with all the animals on earth, could be a true story.


Nigel: Are you telling me that you believe the Noah and the Arc story? That you really believe it is a true story? I don't understand how you could, even for a minute, believe such a fantasy tale. I now also see why people have said that you are on "The Crazy Train".


Lord Howard: Nigel. I am not just on "The Crazy Train", I am the "Driver" of "The Crazy Train". I can now see that this interview is finished, and why there is no need for me to explain myself. I have given you all the information you need to know why the story of Noah and the Arc could indeed be a true story, and if you can not "mathematically" deduce how it is a possibility, then you can not understand that "Might Always Makes Right". Just stick around and watch the political theater in the US....that is coming.......... and you will witness what the churches have always preached........ as "hate".........is in fact the reality given us by the "Creator".

Good Morning Suckers......Patriots of America. Are you ready for more nonsense and stalling? How many straws will it take to break the camels back? My guess is that it will take a lot more oxen to be gored. I will be heading out today. Just too many unmarked vehicles at Horseshoe Beach the past 2 days. Will be 'hitting' the sky in my TBM 850 for parts unknown. “Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Lord Howard Hurts

The Lone Ranger & Running Bullshit

Patriots. Do you remember the episode of "The Lone Ranger", when "Running Bullshit" gave Tonto the firewater and a STD? Do you remember how The "Lone Ranger" solved this confusing situation? He loaded his revolver with silver bullets and shot "Running Bullshit" in the ass. And she retreated back to the reservation. Only to be confronted by the huge fire there. It was INTENSE. Here is a photo from that episode. 
Lord Howard Hurts

The Reverend Sydney James

I can see, and hear, in my mind, even these 50 years later, the Very Reverend, Sydney James, standing in the pulpit saying, "Might Never Makes Right"......... at our church in Kent. His deep baritone voice projecting "truth" and finality. Now my main complaint, with religious persons, is that most persons who claim to be religious, have never even read the Bible. And because of this, they receive their dose of reality from some Anglican Father, like the Very Reverend, Sydney James; absorbing his words as gospel; and never reading the Bible in its entirety, and never becoming aware of the huge disparity between the actual text, and the "cherry picked" paragraphs chosen by these lovers of "peace", that hold their "flock" imprisoned in a world of fantasy. And to those readers who don't understand what I am talking about, I give you this attached posting, in the hope that your mind can be opened, and some sense of reality, in this present world, can be reached. And without going into some deep philosophical inquiry, I readily admit that I believe that the Bible is not the actual word of the Creator, but that it is the inspired word of the Creator. That not all events mentioned, in the Bible, are actual or factual, but that they are events that are totally human, and as such depict the natural human experience, and thus can be attributed to that hidden force that "sparks" all Earthly life, Nature. And regardless of the written word, and the human dilemma between "Good" and "Evil", all life is a struggle for survival, and that struggle has different "rules" at different times, with survival of the species being the dominate factor all the time. Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. But in time, everything returns to the beginning, as nothing can be either created or destroyed. This is why the aphorism, "History Repeats Itself", holds such weight in any discussion of Earthly reality.

How, my father, the first, Lord Howard Hurts, made me understand that "Might Makes Right".

I was 16 years old, when my father, Lord Howard, came to me, and asked me to drive over to his apartment building in the middle of Maidstone, in Kent, and collect the rent from a Mr. Carter in apartment 212. He further told me to see that I did not leave without receiving the rent owed. Well, I went to the apartment building, a new, modern, building that held 64 rentals in a horseshoe design, with an extensive and beautiful garden, giving the modern complex both a trendy, and at the same time a "country cottage" look. The building was directly in the commercial part of the town, and was quite convent for persons who did not have a car for transportation, and relied on either walking or taxi transport. The rents were modest, and the occupancy rate had held at a profitable 97% over the 10 years since the buildings' opening. The renters were mostly retired persons, singles and couples, who held small pensions. Nice quiet people for the most part. 

When I got to the building, I went directly to Mr. Carter's door, on the second floor, and pressed the outside bell button. He answered the bell, almost immediately, and when I told him that I had been instructed by the Lord to claim his rent check, he began to respond to me in both a loud and domineering voice. He said that I need not bother him for he had always paid his rent on time; that he was busy at that particular time; and that I could go home, and inform Lord Howard that he would forward the rent check in due time. He then proceeded to close the door in my face.......... punctuated with a loud slam. Thinking that I had done my job, I proceeded to go home, and inform my father of the situation. Well, I was in for a huge surprise. Father, started, "You moron. I told you to bring back the rent....no excuses. I could let this cretin send the rent when he pleases; I don't need you to go around, and translate for this fool. He has a binding contract, and he needs to pay according to that contract." Well, I was quite surprised at the furry of father. I had only seen him this "wild" on no more than 3 occasions in the past 16 years, and I was not sure, by his ferocity, if he was going to "kill" me, or the errant tenant. Father told me to bring the car around, and said that we both would go visit Mr. Carter, and see that he understood the complete meaning of an obligatory, legal document.

I brought the car around, and father got in, and he seemed so calm, that I was thinking that I had dreamed the previous encounter. We arrived at the apartment building without further incident, and father beat a path up the stairs to Mr. Carter's apartment, with me following in dogged pursuit. Father did not even ring the door bell.....he pounded on the door, 3, or 4, very hard hits.... and it was suddenly opened by Mr. Carter. Mr. Carter was a slight man in his mid fifties, and father was just slightly less than 6 foot, but with the build of a prize winning boxer. Father, did not even give Mr. Carter time to speak. He grabbed this renter with his left hand.....a handful of shirt....and proceeded to push him across the living room, and into a wall. Father, using the handful of colorful flannel..... then lifted the slight man upwards so that his toes barely touched the floor. He then screamed in Mr. Carter's face, "Don't give me excuses and don't dismiss my son when I have sent him to collect your rent. I am going to count to 10, and when I get to 10, if you have not put your rent check in my hand, I will grab you by your shirt once again, and I will take my right hand, and grasp your balls and squeeze them, and I will then throw you through that front window. And then I will go outside and pick up your bloody and broken body, and throw you back into this room, and continue to do so until you say, "Quit." Father then let Mr. Carter down, and there upon he (Carter) ran into his bedroom and returned with check book in hand. Looking quite scared, Carter then sat on the living room couch; leaned forward....... and used the steamer trunk, he had as a coffee table, to substitute as a writing desk, to write out the rent check. He handed it to father, and announced, "I have included an extra $15 dollars to compensate you for your collection trouble."  Father took the check, and we went home, saying not a word in the car during the trip.

Later that night, father, summoned me to his library, and he informed me that I was to take charge of the rentals at the apartment building starting as soon as I either evicted someone, or took over from someone that had an expired lease. He further informed me that I would be living on my own, and handling all the general maintenance on the building, and the collection of all rents...... and that I would need to figure out how much to increase the rents to compensate for my living in one of the apartments...for "free".  I was overjoyed at the prospect of being only 16, and living away from home, and having a "bachelor pad" in the middle of town. Father, also told me to contact his friend, Carl Zinman, who owned a furniture store, and to get myself everything I needed to establish my future domain. I lived in that apartment building for three and one half years, and learned how the "real world" operates on this planet we call Earth. The Very Reverend, Sydney James, was so wrong. "Might Always Makes Right", it is just a matter of how much force to apply, and when to apply that force. This is what always separates "Good" from "Evil". 

Epilogue: Mr. Carter continued to inhabit unit 212, and even  extended his "stay" by another year contract. Lord Howard never again set foot on the property, leaving complete control in my "hands" until I left England, and moved to America. Lord Howard sold the property  6 months later and made himself a pretty penny indeed.                 

Lord Howard Hurts

Massachusetts Man in Nome

Ronald: Your photos of bears reminds me of a story I was told when I went to Alaska for the first time back in 1967. I  had settled in Nome and was at a little cafe called "Mr. Lucky's Gold Dust Cafe". It was a blustery Saturday afternoon in November. I had just come up from Alabama.........Dothan to be exact.........and it was already colder than any winter I wanted to see. But as I sat in the dry warmth of that little cafe the friendliness of the town of Nome, showed itself in the good nature of the three old prospectors who shared that breakfast counter with me that day. Well we began to talk about the weather, and then the conversation turned to more personal aspects of our unrelated lives. And when I mentioned that I was up there from Alabama everyone in the cafe........not just my new three friends..... began to laugh and joke about Alabama. Well then the talk turned to the tenderfoot that had come into the cafe a few weeks ago from Massachusetts. Well my new friend said that he was not even sure that this tenderfoot would last past breakfast by the way he was complaining about the cold and the snow. So one of my new friends took up with him, and told him that everyone new to Alaska must do three thing before they became a real Alaskan. Well it seems that "Massachusetts" was serious about staying and prospecting for gold come summer so he said that he was surely interested in knowing what he needed to do to become a real Alaskan. Well this one guy, Bill, one of the protagonist, was sort of a joker, and he told Mr. Massachusetts that he would first need to go to some bar on the strip and drink a full bottle of Irish whiskey. That after he had done this he would have to kill an Alaskan bear. And then finally  he would then have to have hot passionate sex with an Alaskan woman. And as quickly as these words flowed from Bill's mouth this Massachusetts guy jumped up from his bar stool ,and said that he was going to do all of these mentioned things right then and there.  And he further stated that he would return after accomplishing his mission. Well after maybe two hours had passed....suddenly the door of the cafe was swung open, and it crashed against the adjacent wall with a loud thud. And there stood the man from Massachusetts. And he was drunk as the proverbial skunk. And he was bruised and scratched from head to foot. His clothes were ripped and torn beyond repair. His hair was even missing from several spots on his bloodied head.  Well he looked at everyone in the room and said, "I am out of here.....I am on my third and final mission. And if you gents would be so kind as to direct me to that Alaskan woman I have to kill, I would be most obliged". 
Lord Howard Hurts